kubur masing-masing

Boy : Kenapa you pakai seksi sangat ?

Girl : Biar lah . Kubur masing masing kan .

Boy : Memang lah . Tapi mana lah tahu kalau kubur you kat sebelah i .

 I nak tidur pun susah . Sebab you bising kena seksa , tepekik sana sini .

Girl : $%*&!

gigi kuning

Pakwe : Saya suka gigi awak..

Makwe : Oh really.. why dear ?

Pakwe : sebab "kuning" warna kegemaran saya so sweet..... 

source

doa ibu bapa

Bila ibu kata dia teringat..kita jawab kita sibuk sangat..

Bila ayah kata dia rindu..kita jawab nantilah hujung minggu..

Bila ibu minta kita pulang..kita jawab kita belum lapang..

Bila ayah minta kita singgah..kita jawab kerja kita belum selesai..

Bila hati kita terguris..kita kata "Ibu memang tak pernah faham"

Bila hati kita terhiris..kita kata "Ayah memang tak ambil kisah"

Tetapi...

Bila hati ibu kita terguris..mak kata "Tak apa,dia masih muda"

Bila hati ayah kita terhiris..ayah kata "Tak mengapa,belum sampai akalnya"

Bila kita menangis tanda lapar..ibu berlari hingga bagai hilang kaki...

Bila kita merintih tanda derita..ayah bersengkang mata bagaikan tiada lena...

Bila kita sedih kerana gagal..ibu setia membekalkan cekal...

Bila kita pilu kerana kecewa..ayah teguh berkata dia tetap bangga...

...Maka,hargailah dan sayangilah selagi mereka masih ada di dunia...

...Anak yang soleh tidak akan melupakan ibu bapanya 

hatta di hujung doanya, maka perbanyakkanlah berdoa kepada mereka...

source 

love daughter

what men and women should know

source

source

out of fashion

in fashion

one day you're in..

source n_n

..and the next day 

you're out!!

source u_u

1001 reasons to start a fight with your wife

#1

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. 

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. 

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed 

and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. 

That must be my husband!' 

So the man jumped out of the bed; 

scared and naked jumped out the window. 

He smashed himself on the ground, 

ran through a thorn bush and 

to his car as fast as he could go. 

A few minutes later he returned and 

went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 

'I AM your husband!' 

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?' 

And then the fight started..... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#2

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, 

made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. 

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, 

and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. 

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, 

turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. 

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. 

I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 

'The weather out there is terrible.' 

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 

'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?' 

And then the fight started ... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#3

My wife sat down on the couch 

next to me as I was flipping channels. 

She asked, 'What's on TV?' 

I said, 'Dust.' 

And then the fight started... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#4

My wife was hinting about what she wanted 

for our upcoming anniversary. 

She said, 

'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' 

I bought her a scale. 

And then the fight started... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#5

When I got home last night, 

my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... 

so, I took her to a gas station. 

And then the fight started... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#6 

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. 

The woman behind the counter asked me formy driver's license to verify my age.

 I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. 

I told the woman that I was very sorry, 

but I would have to go home and come back later. 

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. 

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. 

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' 

and she processed my Social Security application. 

When I got home, 

I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. 

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. 

You might have gotten disability, too.' 

And then the fight started.... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#7 

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, 

and I kept staring at a drunken lady 

swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. 

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. 

I understand she took to drinking 

right after we split up those many years ago, 

and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 

'My God!' says my wife, 

'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' 

And then the fight started... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#8 

I took my wife to a restaurant. 

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." 

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"" 

Nah, she can order for herself." 

And then the fight started... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#9

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. 

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 

'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. 

I really need you to pay me a compliment.' 

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' 

And then the fight started..... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#10

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. 

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. 

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. 

And then the fight started.... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#11 

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. 

I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday 

and then the fight started..... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#12 

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" 

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. 

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. 

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" 

And that's when the fight started.... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#13

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire 

while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said,

"Do you want to have sex?" 

"No," she answered. 

I then said, "Is that your final answer?" 

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." 

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." 

And that's when the fight started.... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#14 

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, 

my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. 

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: 

the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me. 

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. 

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, 

busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. 

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. 

I was gone only a few minutes. 

When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. 

'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 

'you might as well sweep the driveway.' 

and then the fight started...

source

two days exercise

tips to success in life

mesej kekasih kepada kekasih

...mesej seorang kekasih kepada kekasihnya...

Perempuan : Awak.. 

Kenape awak tak pernah ajak saya tengok wayang 

atau keluar jalan-jalan macam pasangan lain?

Lelaki : Saje..

Perempuan : Saje ke atau awak malu nak keluar dengan saya?

Lelaki : Mana ada..

Perempuan : Kenapa kita tak pernah gayut malam-malam macam pasangan lain?

Lelaki : Sebab saya nak jimat kredit..

Perempuan : Sampai hati awak kan? 

Kenapa ye kawan saya panggil kekasihnya ''sayang'' 

tapi awak tak pernah pun panggil saya ''sayang''?

Lelaki : Geli la perkataan tu.. 

Nak termuntah..

...perempuan tersebut terus merajuk selepas membaca ayat-ayat kekasihnya...

...beberapa minit kemudia dia menerima satu mesej...

Lelaki : Saya tak pernah ajak awak kuar tengok wayang ngan jalan-jalan sebab nanti bila kita dah kahwin, awak takkan rasa boring nak kuar ngan saya dan saya nak saat tu nanti menjadi kenangan kita yang paling romantik dalam hidup saya.. 

Lagipun, bukan ke tak elok kalau keluar berdua-duaan? Mcm-macam boleh terjadi kan? 

Saya tak nak gayut ngn awk malam-malam bukan sebab saya nak save kredit ke ape tapi saya tak nak diri saya hanyut dengar suara merdu awak.. Biarlah saya mendengarnya pada malam pertama kita nanti supaya saya akan lebih menghargainya.. 

Saya tak panggil awak sayang bukan saya geli nak panggil tapi biarlah saya panggil awak ''sayang'' bila kita jadi suami isteri nanti kerana awak takkan rasa bosan mendengarnya dan dapat menjaga hati saya dari tergoda dengan hasutan syaitan.. 

Saya sangat mencintai awak dan saya janji suatu hari nanti awak akan merasai apa yang orang lain rasa sekarang setelah kita sah menjadi suami isteri..

Perempuan (Sambil menangis terharu berkata) : 

terima kasih bakal suamiku.. 

Aku amat menyintaimu.. 

Ya Allah, satukan lah kami dalam ikatan yg sah..


source:facebook